There was once a terrible monster named Thataka, the father of a
terrible demon named TJ, or Thataka Junior. He lived in the Midwest plains and
often looked for challengers. One day, he saw a man, named DJ, short for
Dasharatha Junior, and his friends, Dasharatha Junior Friend 1 and Dasharatha
Junior Friend 2. They were wandering in the plains, and surveying the area for
future settlement. The demon Thataka started throwing random hay bales and
tumbleweeds at the group of friends, and began bellowing as loudly as he could.
This startled the group of friends, and they began preparing a strategy to
fight him. DJ returned fire by slashing Thataka with a sword, and Thataka, in
order to regain a competitive advantage, blinded DJ. However, using the power
of echolocation, DJ was still able to locate Thataka, and using the “spray and
pray” strategy with his sword, began slashing Thataka into pieces. The demon
was defeated and died, however, there was news of Thataka’s death that
eventually made it’s way to the Thataka family reunion, where a band of demons,
led by Thataka Junior began towards DJ to exact revenge.
Meanwhile, DJ and his friends moved forward in their expedition
further into the planes. They had been rewarded by the county sheriff for defeating
the demons by receiving celestial weapons such as a pistol, rifle, and weapons
that would work pretty well against a demon in general when compared to a
sword. As they travelled further, they heard a rumbling. At first, they thought
it was merely bison travelling across the plains, and decided they would capture
one for food supplies. But DJ, being the intelligent person that he was, stated
that bison did not generally travel so rapidly across the plains, and guessed
that there was a different group of people- perhaps cattle herders.
When they saw that it was the Thataka family was converging upon
them, ultimately to kill them, they exacted a strategy where they formed a
triangle with their backs towards eachother and used their weapons of rifles
and pistols to merely pick them off at longer range. This surprised the Thataka
family, but they were determined- this did not work out for the Thataka family,
and they all died.
The sheriff ordained forever the name DJ, and made sure that
people would always be aware of their bravery and wit. The small little town in
the Midwest plains was forever thankful to them, and they continued on their
way, further into the plains.
Thataka, attacked by Rama. Source: Wikimedia Commons
Bibliography: Thataka from Ramayana Public Domain Edition
Author's Note: The story originally has Rama and Lakshmana kill Thataka, who then has Maricha and other demons exact revenge. They are guided by a fairy and are rewarded with shrines and celestial weapons. I changed this to a Midwestern cowboy setting slightly changed character names, and had the weapons be changed. I also changed the mission of Rama, and had Rama and his friends quickly kill the demons using strategy and practically as opposed to divine weapons.
I love the change in setting. Moving this story from India all the way to the good ol' Midwestern Plains was a great idea. I understand that Thataka is a demon, but what is his exact reason to look for challengers to fight? Is he just bloodthirsty? Also, I enjoyed the scenery change to the Midwest, but how is it that Thataka ended up out in basically the middle of nowhere fighting cowboys. I do think it was clever that Thataka's family came to avenge him, however I feel like adding that part of the story made it so that there was too much information in a short story. What if you left out that battle and only included the battle with Thataka? This could make it so that you could make the fight scene so much more detailed. You could also leave out the Thataka battle, and keep the fight with his family. You would have to write a background at the beginning though. Overall, I really enjoyed this story. However, I would love to read some more detail in the fight scenes.
ReplyDeleteIt was cool that you were able to preserve the type of descriptions used in action sequences of the Indian Epics while changing the setting to the Midwest. I also liked that this story had somewhat of a casual humor to it. The only thing that I'd elaborate on are Thataka's motivations for challenge-searching. This could really drive his personality more in the fight-scenes and make them more action-packed. Also, if there was some way to really show why he's described as "the unbeatable monster" but without too much more writing. Maybe they try to shoot him with a few celestial weapons to no avail? That seems to be how they gauge the power of characters in many Indian Epics and it doesn't seem to add on too much more bulk. Overall, I liked the story though. It was funny how the sheriff gave them celestial weapons. So midwestern lol.
ReplyDeleteHey Sean! I liked how different this story was than others that I have read! It was interesting to see an Indian myth transported to the Old West. I was a little confused, however, at one point because I had to guess that we were not in India but in the Old West. I think if you could state that early on in the story, as opposed to just in the author's note, that would be really helpful! I would also love more background, because I LOVE old western stories. Why is DJ out searching for land? Is there a way to think of the Thataka family as a family of bandits? I think this setting for the Indian myths would be so awesome to see be continued, because you have definitely proved the plausibility of writing it in that style! Overall, I really loved it and if you were to expand it, I think that would be super cool!
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